Being quite unsure about who will eventually win the Arizona marketball sweepstakes to determine who might come up with the best slogans, soundbytes, weeps, yelps, blurbs, lerps, leaps of logic and so on to help the state overcome this rather nasty "image" crisis ...
Also being quite sure nobody is going to change Arizona's new immigration law, or, actually fix it until well after that image is completely destroyed because we have a governor and a legislature that can only read short quips or brief statements at best ...
I figure, why not. Pitch in. All hands on deck. Might pay better than writing poems or songs or writing for weird per-click sites that are the journalistic equivalent of crushing cans for a living ...
And seeing as Arizona is getting, all the same, the kind of economy and leadership it so richly deserves ...
I'm offering up these freely downloadable sayings for the Arizona government in order to cover my tax bill this year ....
Arizona, where the only paper you need is your Manifest Destiny
Be White and It's All Right
Comeback to Arizona Soon, Where the Land Is Flat, Again
Heck, All Notions of Earth and Sky Are Flat, Again
Arizona, the New National Sanctuary for Neo-Reptilians
What stays in Arizona, snakes ...
Don't worry, in Arizona, we arrest everyone!
More target marketed now than never!
To the senior and hostel industry, we say:
Let your civil rights come here to die
Hey Scandanavia! You won't need no stinking badges
Arizona: A Legacy of Hate Living History Exhibit
We aren't racists but it's fun to think about
We don't make racists. We make racism better.
Don't Assume I'm a Nazi INAZ
Where don't ask don't tell is ask then give them hell
Come bake your brains you'll fit right in
We're positively Nazi for Anastasis
Welcome to Phoenix: Valley of the Shunned
Arizona, we soar past (pass) Mississippi!
*this message paid for by the Committee to Draft Charles Barkley as Governator