Saturday, May 15, 2010

Marketing the Biggest Crack in the World Needs, Apparently, More Time ... Much, Much More Time

Being quite unsure about who will eventually win the Arizona marketball sweepstakes to determine who might come up with the best slogans, soundbytes, weeps, yelps, blurbs, lerps, leaps of logic and so on to help the state overcome this rather nasty "image" crisis ...

Also being quite sure nobody is going to change Arizona's new immigration law, or, actually fix it until well after that image is completely destroyed because we have a governor and a legislature that can only read short quips or brief statements at best ...

I figure, why not. Pitch in. All hands on deck. Might pay better than writing poems or songs or writing for weird per-click sites that are the journalistic equivalent of crushing cans for a living ...

And seeing as Arizona is getting, all the same, the kind of economy and leadership it so richly deserves ...

I'm offering up these freely downloadable sayings for the Arizona government in order to cover my tax bill this year ....

Arizona, where the only paper you need is your Manifest Destiny

Be White and It's All Right

Comeback to Arizona Soon, Where the Land Is Flat, Again

Heck, All Notions of Earth and Sky Are Flat, Again

Arizona, the New National Sanctuary for Neo-Reptilians

What stays in Arizona, snakes ...

Don't worry, in Arizona, we arrest everyone!

More target marketed now than never!

To the senior and hostel industry, we say:

Let your civil rights come here to die

Hey Scandanavia! You won't need no stinking badges

Arizona: A Legacy of Hate Living History Exhibit

We aren't racists but it's fun to think about

We don't make racists. We make racism better.

Don't Assume I'm a Nazi INAZ

Where don't ask don't tell is ask then give them hell

Come bake your brains you'll fit right in

We're positively Nazi for Anastasis

Welcome to Phoenix: Valley of the Shunned

Arizona, we soar past (pass) Mississippi!

*this message paid for by the Committee to Draft Charles Barkley as Governator

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