The Take Arizona's Super Bowl Hostage Committee has brought on Raymond Chandler, author of the detective novel, "The Big Sleep," as its chief investigator. The investigation didn't take long. No longer, that is, than that point in almost every episode of "Law and Order" when the detectives, after nosing around the streets of New York City knock over every seedy joint and newsy and drug addict for information decide to do a web search to find all of the missing clues they need to instantly find enough to prosecute the case.
In this case, all clues lead to the Cathi Herrod of the right-wing group, The Center for Arizona Policy ...
"Sounds pretty innocuous," stated the late mystery novelist, "but in the river of shit that knows no sleep, you can smell this one from here to Uganda. With a last name like that, no wonder this poor woman has some real religious hang-ups."
With that, Chandler returned to his eternal big sleep in a puff of pipe smoke.
Chief spokesperson for the committee to further pursue the members of Arizona's legislature who brought Arizona's poor civil rights image back to the forehead of the international zeitgeist, the late author James Joyce, said he was pleased that Chandler's investigation was as inexpensive as it was, and thanked Chandler for his contribution to the literary tradition of the crime novel noir.
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